Let freedom walk

Today, I walked the Freedom Trail so you won't have to! It was a circuitous 2.5 miles pregnant with historical gravitas.

At the beginning, on the Tremont Street side of Boston Common, a cheerful sign read:

Acquaint thyself with the birthe of thise Nation's greate democracy by schlepping arounde like a Communiste.

I've been using nothing but public transportation since I got here and already form ranks like a Bolshevik, so this felt natural.

The first stop was the Massachusetts State House, which I named Big Gold Boil (BGB). In addition to housing the state and being nauseatingly gaudy, the BGB was built to reflect the sun's rays directly into the eyes of redcoats. Turns out BGB is also an attention whore trying to keep you from turning around and seeing the real star of Beacon Street, the Robert Gould Shaw/54th Regiment Memorial.

If you're having trouble placing these stalwarts, imagine Matthew Broderick astride that steed. Shaw and the 54th were the regiment featured in Glory, one of the best war movies ever.

On the north end of Park Street facing Tremont is the thoroughly boring Park Street Church. My opinion contrasts with that of Henry James, who called it America's "most interesting mass of bricks and mortar." But we all know how much James sucked, how much he enjoyed being unnecessarily elliptical, and that he hated America, so that was most likely a back-handed compliment. Further north is the Granary Burial Ground, dedicated in 1660.

[click for bigger pic] This place is cool. The tombstones not only display the flavor of their various periods (the 1660's up through the mid 1800's), but suggest that in certain decades, the 1750's through 70's in particular, Boston was a one tombstone mason town. Those Grim Fandango-ish skulls with wings adorn every tombstone I saw from that era--there are two other similarly old burial sites dating to 1630 and 1659--and they're all basically identical. Fascinating. Later in the 18th century those skulls become lifeless looking cherubs, then around the turn of the 19th century you start seeing differentiation, scales of justice for judges and lawyers, etc. Mother Goose and John Hancock rest there, as well as this guy:

Godspeed noble brewmaster. There was substantial wear and tear on the tombstones, a lot of it probably from freaks like Ben Kromer who take grave rubbings. This is deplorable and destructive. I admit though, in the moment, drunk with history, I should have liked to take rubbings of a few choice stones. However, there was a sign begging against it and that alone stayed my hand. The prohibitory sign itself was engraved and I almost made a rubbing of the no rubbing sign, just to say I'd rubbed something.

Then came the King's Chapel, which actually is interesting architecturally because it's Anglican, and has a little English neo-classical thing going on. Of even greater interest, though, was the interior.

This is a very early instance of the plucky American desire to increase productivity. The Anglicans found that by placing families in these little cubicles and charging rent, not only did church revenue skyrocket, but salvation jumped some 76% and demon-possession dropped by 13%. Curiously, immaculate conceptions remained steady.

Next was the Old South Meeting-House. Benjamin Franklin was baptized here and Phyllis Wheatley no doubt gained divine inspiration for her trite and derivative poetry--though credit her with being the first freed slave to land a book deal. Across the street is the really cool thing though, even if it doesn't technically have anything to do with the Freedom Trail.

[click for larger pic] These statues were originally entitled "Scorn the Poor and Steal Their Children," and are highly evocative of both scorn--the woman's face--and baby stealing--a stomach that flat screams 'this kid ain't mine'.

When baby-stealing fell out of fashion at the turn of the century, the statues were rebranded a tribute to the Irish working class. Pffft.

That's it for now, I'll post the rest of these tomorrow morning, probably before any of you wake up.

"God has no right to choose the upper world for Himself, and to leave the lower world to us"